Leaving Home to Come Home

"There was no funeral.
No flowers.
No ceremony.
No one had died.
No weeping or wailing.
Just in my heart.
'I can't...'
But I did anyway,
and nobody knew I couldn't.
'I don't want to...'
But nobody else said they didn't.
So I put down my panic
and picked up my luggage and got on the plane.
There was no funeral."
-"Mock Funeral" by Alex Graham James

I have been back Stateside for several days now, and sometimes I still think I hear the kids, or expect to sit and have lunch with Solome. It has been good to come home, but I feel guilty for having a part of me that wants to be back in Uganda.

It has been a blessing to be home-to be with my family, see some great friends from many years past, be back in the mountains.

But I think about the kids, the knocks on the door and tiny voices saying, "good morning Nurse Sarah!" I consider my friends who are in university, and I wish I could call them just to say hello, stop by their campus for lunch and a hug. I remember the kids who are in boarding school and I want to see them during visitation days or spend Sundays with them when they come back to GSF. I think about my life back in Uganda, and I miss it dearly.

Today I turned on the radio and heard the song "Homesick" come on. It is a song about loss when a loved one dies. No person died, but it feels like a part of my life has died. Sometimes my heart mourns when I think I may never see these beloved people again. But then a line in the song became like a bold underlined headline for me:

"In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again"

Although my future is unknown, and it remains a mystery if I will ever see my precious Ugandan friends again, some of whom have become absolutely irreplaceable in my life-there is a certainty. Jesus provides a promise of eternity together. So I will hold onto that truth and look forward to the day that I will spend with my Ugandan friends, my American friends, and my family-together.

I'm comin home, comin home...

Greetings from Heathrow International Airport. I'm sitting in the lounge waiting to get on my final flight before I reach home. It all feels so surreal... I simply cannot envision being with my family, in my house within the next 15 hours. It is just too strange a thought!

My last few days at GSF were eventful, packed and oh SO good. Thursday night I was blessed by all the teenagers at youth group where we ate dinner all together-almost 30 people in our house! (cooked by my roommates Amanda and Katie, and friend Lucy). After the teens each said a favorite memory with me (surprising number of "thanks for taking us to the dentist," or "thanks for the tetanus shots"), they sang some goodbye songs. Those songs used to be sung back-in-the-day when people left GSF, but recently they have only been a legend. It was an HONOR to be sung to :) One of the older teen boys repeated the words to one of the songs about how although someone is gone, we should remember that we are looking at the same moon, stars and sun. Cheesy, maybe-but it made me tear up!

Friday night had an all girl sleep over, which ended up being only half of the girls-some were on punishment and some didn't want to be in the house we had it at-but it was still a great time together. Saturday was a friend's wedding-my namesake, Auntie Sarah! It was so fun-and my first African wedding! My favorite part was when everyone danced down the isle to singing and shouting! That night all the teens came over to our house and we watched the movie The Rise of the Planet of the Apes-so good! It was a great surprise for Solome's little sister Teddy to be there!

Sunday everyone at church prayed over me-the man who prayed, Big David, said that I was one of them, and he prayed for my return someday. Me too Big David! :) Lord knows.

Monday was a quick trip to Jinja town, met a good friend, Paul to say goodbye. That night all the missionaries made a HUGE dinner, homemade mac and cheese as the main course YUM!!! And prayed over me as well.

Tuesday went to all the houses and said goodbye to each of the kids-cried about half the time (not too bad!) and escorted the teens to their day school, and cried a lot! Kissed the girls on the cheeks and probably embarrassed them-alright ;) THAT goodbye was very tough. Those kids are some of my biggest joys. Went to all the houses and left little gifts for each of the kids and said bye to all of the housemoms too. Left GSF in the late morning and went to pick up Solome at university!

It was great to see her again. We also picked up Barbara and Ruthie and all of us went to a late lunch, and then to the beach of Lake Victoria where we took pictures, played in the water a bit, shared stories and laughed a lot-all the way into the night. It was a perfect way to spend some of my last hours.

Wednesday morning was really tough. Saying goodbye to Solome was particularly difficult. She has become one of my best friends, and a HUGE blessing to my life. I already miss her dearly.

Flights have gone well, and I'm off for the last one! Talk to you State-side!

Philip's Milestone

Yesterday was a momentous occasion. Philip, one of the boys who has been very sick for many years-reached his 11th year of life!

I have had the chance to spend lots of time with Philip over the past year-giving injections, daily medications morning and evening, daily skin care, many trips to doctors' offices and hospitals, and lots of prayers asking God to heal his little body.

But lately we have seen some changes in Philip! He took a bad turn about a month ago-all sorts of infections and one doctor even told us to prepare for the end. But, he started healing slowly by slowly, and during our last doctor's appointment-his blood tests showed that the long term medications are starting to work!!! GLORY TO JESUS! :)

Yesterday we gathered together to celebrate the beginning of his 11th year. We had pizza and chocolate cake, and Philip had one request from me for his birthday-to have a banana :) In the picture you can see that Philip is still skinny (as usual!) and has some wounds remaining on his face, but he is slowly improving and we all had a chance to celebrate that on Sept 1.