Leaving Home to Come Home

"There was no funeral.
No flowers.
No ceremony.
No one had died.
No weeping or wailing.
Just in my heart.
'I can't...'
But I did anyway,
and nobody knew I couldn't.
'I don't want to...'
But nobody else said they didn't.
So I put down my panic
and picked up my luggage and got on the plane.
There was no funeral."
-"Mock Funeral" by Alex Graham James

I have been back Stateside for several days now, and sometimes I still think I hear the kids, or expect to sit and have lunch with Solome. It has been good to come home, but I feel guilty for having a part of me that wants to be back in Uganda.

It has been a blessing to be home-to be with my family, see some great friends from many years past, be back in the mountains.

But I think about the kids, the knocks on the door and tiny voices saying, "good morning Nurse Sarah!" I consider my friends who are in university, and I wish I could call them just to say hello, stop by their campus for lunch and a hug. I remember the kids who are in boarding school and I want to see them during visitation days or spend Sundays with them when they come back to GSF. I think about my life back in Uganda, and I miss it dearly.

Today I turned on the radio and heard the song "Homesick" come on. It is a song about loss when a loved one dies. No person died, but it feels like a part of my life has died. Sometimes my heart mourns when I think I may never see these beloved people again. But then a line in the song became like a bold underlined headline for me:

"In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again"

Although my future is unknown, and it remains a mystery if I will ever see my precious Ugandan friends again, some of whom have become absolutely irreplaceable in my life-there is a certainty. Jesus provides a promise of eternity together. So I will hold onto that truth and look forward to the day that I will spend with my Ugandan friends, my American friends, and my family-together.

I'm comin home, comin home...

Greetings from Heathrow International Airport. I'm sitting in the lounge waiting to get on my final flight before I reach home. It all feels so surreal... I simply cannot envision being with my family, in my house within the next 15 hours. It is just too strange a thought!

My last few days at GSF were eventful, packed and oh SO good. Thursday night I was blessed by all the teenagers at youth group where we ate dinner all together-almost 30 people in our house! (cooked by my roommates Amanda and Katie, and friend Lucy). After the teens each said a favorite memory with me (surprising number of "thanks for taking us to the dentist," or "thanks for the tetanus shots"), they sang some goodbye songs. Those songs used to be sung back-in-the-day when people left GSF, but recently they have only been a legend. It was an HONOR to be sung to :) One of the older teen boys repeated the words to one of the songs about how although someone is gone, we should remember that we are looking at the same moon, stars and sun. Cheesy, maybe-but it made me tear up!

Friday night had an all girl sleep over, which ended up being only half of the girls-some were on punishment and some didn't want to be in the house we had it at-but it was still a great time together. Saturday was a friend's wedding-my namesake, Auntie Sarah! It was so fun-and my first African wedding! My favorite part was when everyone danced down the isle to singing and shouting! That night all the teens came over to our house and we watched the movie The Rise of the Planet of the Apes-so good! It was a great surprise for Solome's little sister Teddy to be there!

Sunday everyone at church prayed over me-the man who prayed, Big David, said that I was one of them, and he prayed for my return someday. Me too Big David! :) Lord knows.

Monday was a quick trip to Jinja town, met a good friend, Paul to say goodbye. That night all the missionaries made a HUGE dinner, homemade mac and cheese as the main course YUM!!! And prayed over me as well.

Tuesday went to all the houses and said goodbye to each of the kids-cried about half the time (not too bad!) and escorted the teens to their day school, and cried a lot! Kissed the girls on the cheeks and probably embarrassed them-alright ;) THAT goodbye was very tough. Those kids are some of my biggest joys. Went to all the houses and left little gifts for each of the kids and said bye to all of the housemoms too. Left GSF in the late morning and went to pick up Solome at university!

It was great to see her again. We also picked up Barbara and Ruthie and all of us went to a late lunch, and then to the beach of Lake Victoria where we took pictures, played in the water a bit, shared stories and laughed a lot-all the way into the night. It was a perfect way to spend some of my last hours.

Wednesday morning was really tough. Saying goodbye to Solome was particularly difficult. She has become one of my best friends, and a HUGE blessing to my life. I already miss her dearly.

Flights have gone well, and I'm off for the last one! Talk to you State-side!

Philip's Milestone

Yesterday was a momentous occasion. Philip, one of the boys who has been very sick for many years-reached his 11th year of life!

I have had the chance to spend lots of time with Philip over the past year-giving injections, daily medications morning and evening, daily skin care, many trips to doctors' offices and hospitals, and lots of prayers asking God to heal his little body.

But lately we have seen some changes in Philip! He took a bad turn about a month ago-all sorts of infections and one doctor even told us to prepare for the end. But, he started healing slowly by slowly, and during our last doctor's appointment-his blood tests showed that the long term medications are starting to work!!! GLORY TO JESUS! :)

Yesterday we gathered together to celebrate the beginning of his 11th year. We had pizza and chocolate cake, and Philip had one request from me for his birthday-to have a banana :) In the picture you can see that Philip is still skinny (as usual!) and has some wounds remaining on his face, but he is slowly improving and we all had a chance to celebrate that on Sept 1.

Debrief

My time at GSF is rapidly closing and I can hardly believe it. This time next week I will be on a plane, probably circling London to land... My mind just can't let me think much about leaving this place that has become a home for me.

To help myself transition, Africa Inland Mission requires all their missionaries to complete a debrief form and to arrange a meeting to talk about your past experiences. Since I've already completed the form and sat in a debrief meeting also, I thought I'd share some of my debrief with you! Interview style :)

Write down the first 5 adjectives that come to mind to describe your Short Term experience with AIM?

Stretching, exhausting, significant, revealing, fun

What do you feel you have contributed to the ministries in which you have been involved?

I feel my biggest contribution was my time and nursing skills. I live on site at GSF, so my work is 24 hours per day, 7 days a week most of the time. Other things I have contributed are my money (paying for some medications and doctor fees) and my interpersonal skills with the kids here, especially the teenagers. I feel that those built relationships with the kids and staff here is the most significant thing I have contributed.

The purpose of the AIM ShortTerm program is to make disciples of Jesus Christ.(Matt 28:19,20) How has God used you in helping others follow Jesus Christ? How have you grown as a disciple of Jesus Christ?

I have had the pleasure of growing deep friendships with some of the young women who grew up at GSF. One of which I have had the beginnings of a mentorship relationship. As I have been in a challenging place, exhausting and with limited boundaries, I have never felt the absolute need to spend time with Jesus like I do here. I spend more intentional time in prayer and reading the Word as an act of survival!

Working in a cross-cultural situation what did you find interesting, commendable, enjoyable?

The relational people! They always drop anything for a friend, always greet, even when late, and place friends and family first. I loved being able to make best friends with the people.

What did God teach you as you observed and interacted with believers in the national Church?

Worship is a lifestyle. Prayer is essential to life, and it does bring about miracles! I have never been so challenged to BELIEVE in what God says, and expecting Him to move

Other comments:

I have loved being here, and especially have been blessed with some amazing friendships that I pray will transcend distance and time. Jesus has blessed my heart in ways that I didn’t even know I needed. Praised God that He knows my heart intimately and provides for my every need, even the ones I didn’t know about :)

Happenings

Greetings from the ever busy world of GSF!

There are so many things happening, I think you all deserve an update (and maybe some lunch break reading :)

First: the new nurse has arrived! Her name is Katie and she is a pediatric nurse from England. She has a sweet heart, I can already see her falling in love with the kids! Her fervor to learn both inspires and encourages me. Every day she sits down and sifts through a mountain of reading to learn more about caring for the kids here. I feel so confident in leaving the kids here in her very capable hands.

Second: new kids! We've got FIVE new kids here at GSF! The youngest, Favor, came about a month ago and is the baby sister of one of the boys already living here. Her mom has some mental problems and couldn't care for her. She is now about 2 months old and just as cute as can be! Some days I sleep over at Solome's house to help with night time feedings. I'll tell you what-I am SO not ready to be a parent! Good thing that is a ways down the line :)
Next came Mercy. She is a little girl who was in the hospital for extreme malnutrition before she came to us. Some think she has mental delay, but we are all hoping that her mental status will improve with good nutrition and care. She is approx two years old, but is so small she wears infant diapers.
Most recently we have a new sibling group! Joan is about 6 years, Jessica is about 4 years, and Joel is about 2 years. They all have the most beautiful, big eyes I've ever seen. The photos are of the two girls Joan and Jessica. The one photo of the three girls braiding my hair is of Laureen, Joan and Jessica on the back veranda of their house.

My time here is quickly coming to an end (and I always tell people, "I don't want to talk about it!") and there is still so much to tell. I wish I could adequately explain the experience here to you through blog posts! If anyone ever wants to make a trip here to see it for yourself, let me know. I would be an agreeable travel buddy ;)

Kenya Dig It?

My days here at GSF are so full of work and general busyness, that sometimes I need to take some time to relax. So, I took that seriously-and went to KENYA! And not only did I get to travel to Kenya, but I got to spend the whole time with my very dear friend Solome Jaromo!

We left at the end of her work day on Wednesday, picked up some things in town and relaxed at a friend's house until it was time to leave for our bus at 8:30pm. When we got to the bus station (or the dirt spot on the side of the road), found out our bus wasn't leaving until 10pm. Oh well-allowed for some good talk time!

The trip there was looooong. Apparently, there was a strike for public transport in Kampala that day, so once we crossed the boarder and were a few hours in, we waited two hours for another bus to come and take us the remainder of the way to Nairobi. The bus we ended up on was a dinosaur! We were moving at a glacial pace especially climbing out of the Rift Valley. The ride took us 17 hours to complete!

But we arrived safely in Nairobi! It took some time and lots of asking questions to find our way around, but we safely arrived at Little Sisters of Saint Francis, where we stayed alongside the InterVarsity Kenya Global Project team. It was great to meet the team, and so fun to introduce Solome to them! She was introduced as my sister :) Our accommodations were homey and relaxing. Each night Solome and I sat together and read from the Bible, book of 2 Corinthians. I cannot express how encouraging it was to be with her those few days.

While we were with the team I had the great pleasure of spending time with the directors of the team (who are the same people who also led me to Kenya in 2005 and 2007!) Brian and Debbie Lee, as well as Julie Helwig (IV staff member I've worked with a little) and Kacie Wohlfeil (sister to one of my dear friends, Brittni Davenport) and many many students I recognized from University of Montana during college retreats.

We got the opportunity to join with the team on some of their outreaches. We went to Sanctuary of Hope home for children from Methare Valley, one of the largest slums in East Africa. There we played with the kids, sang and shared devotions together, and finished the night with a wonderful meal. We went to Methare Valley to partner with a church there to paint their sanctuary, build a fence, and conduct a clinic for some of the school kids. We also turned the bus into a balloon animal making factory, and handed out loads of balloon creations to the mob of kids outside. We went to Nairobi Chapel, a huge church! And our last "event" was the Masai market where Solome and I bought a few gifts for people in Uganda, and "Friendship Tags" for the two of us-beautiful twisted wire bracelets.

The Lord was with us and we got the last two seats remaining on the bus to come home. The bus was timely, and we made the trip in a much more bearable 12 hours in an overnight, trans-boarder commute. Upon our arrival in Jinja, we spent the day running some errands, sitting and talking over tea, and booked a room for the night where we watched a movie and ordered in pizza. A satisfying way to end an amazing trip.

Satisfying Sports

On Friday I had the absolute pleasure of watching our kids from Good Shepherd's Fold School compete in "ball sports" against seven other schools in the surrounding area. Junior and Senior, Boys and Girls, Netball and Soccer.
We began the day by walking with one of "our" (meaning he lives at GSF) kids to the field about a 20 minute walk away. Henry entertained me, the three interns (oh, you don't know about them yet! There are three ladies from the States here for 2 months. Lianna is a education major, Corine is a child development major, and Suzanna is studying nursing), and a family here visiting as we sauntered into Kikube town.
Sports started off with girls' junior netball-where the girls "real banged" all the other teams with scores like 8-0. It was so fun to watch them do so well! The picture above was taken right after they won a match-the girl facing you in the center hugging her friend is named Betty, and the girl on the right in the red shirt is named Beats. Both are incredibly gifted athletes, and it is always so fun to watch them compete!
Being at this sporting day was a great opportunity for me to get to know some of the kids who come to school from "out"- the surrounding villages. I usually don't get time to spend with them-as they are mostly in school while on GSF campus. Above is a picture of one of my new friends-Scovia. She even came to church on Sunday! Also in the picture is the nursing intern, Suzanna.
To top off the whole day, I even got to put into practice some nursing skills! I was busy watching the Junior boys' soccer team (pictured above) play their match, when I noticed a child behind me talking to a friend of hers. I recognized her say the Lugandan word for "nurse," so I turned around to find the older of the two girls using a broken plastic pen in an attempt to remove a jigger-a small sand flea that burrows into the skin and lays a sack of eggs. In the name of preventing tetanus, I sat down to remove the little bugger. Soon, I was swarmed by a mob of kids, all clambering and pushing to see what I was doing. It was a bit nerve wracking to have such a large audience, but we finally got the jigger out, cleaned and bandaged her foot. The rest of the day was spent practicing sports medicine-wrapping knees, placing on ice packs, and handing out Ibuprofen.

At the end of it all, we even got all the kids back safe and sound-a great way to end a very satisfying day :)

Busy Bee

Everyone out there: This is to inform all in the technologically advanced world that I have not died in Uganda! Life is actually going quite well :) But busy, BUSY, BUSY!

Some highlights, and a few lowlights-

* Amanda Kruppenbacher, my dear friend and housemate, traveled home to the USA to visit her family. While she was there, she became very sick with cerebral malaria which she contracted here in Uganda. She was very, very sick. For a few days we were all fearing any phone call-dreading that it might harold news of her death. But PRAISE OUR GOOD, LOVING MERCIFUL LORD JESUS CHRIST! She has been healed (a true miracle actually, I hope I can tell you about it someday!) and is home with her family, gaining strength and planning her return to Uganda on July 14.

* Youth Group, STAMINA, has started up in the past month, and I have been so encouraged by the teens and their growth. I really believe that they have grown these past months. They are learning to be more vulnerable with me, and we are learning more about what it means to be a follower of Jesus day by day. The hardest thing to learn, and I feel like it is even harder to exemplify! Living life with these teens has stretched and grown me more than I would have ever anticipated! I sure do love them...

* My teammate, roommate, and dear friend Meredith Lee left Uganda this past Sunday. It was so bittersweet to watch her go. I know she is looking forward to starting life again in the States, but so hard to watch her say goodbye to this place which she has grown to love. My workload has changed, and although it is manageable, it is a definite challenge! I miss my friend who carried so much alongside me...

* Daily adventure! Some things that happen everyday around GSF-tree climbing with the kids (love it!), discovering baby puff adder snakes in our front yard (don't love it so much!), continuing to learn the ropes medically with appointments and lab tests, boda rides and taxi adventures, taking the teens into town, learning how to cook Uganda style (fried chicken, anyone?), Muganda dance lessons (I am NOT proficient!), and Luganda language lessons (I learned today how to argue down a price-very helpful!).

Life is good. God is great.

To steal from Amanda K's blog-
UGANDA LOVE IT :)

Have you ever taken 8 teenage girls horseback riding? How about 8 teens who have never been riding before? How about 8 girls who have never even touched a horse before? I had the absolute pleasure of doing just that on May 5 to celebrate my 25^th birthday!

Betty, Namubiru, Esther, Joy, Jennie, Aidah, Rebecca, and Rachel joined Meredith and I at Nile Horseback Safaris along the banks of the River Nile for a two hour ride along the river’s edge and through rural Ugandan villages. We were greeted by some kind people who led us to the horses. The girls were all giddy with excitement, most laughing, smiling to the point of splitting their faces wide open. And I was among those most thrilled!

The ride started off well when three of the horses went down for a roll after their riders hopped on-resulting in a quick bail out. Watching the kids stare confusingly at their downed mounts made me giggle. Once we established that pulling back on the reins meant “stop” and kicking meant “go,” we were off! The horses took every opportunity to take a crunch out of tender green maize plants, and they slowed our progress considerably. But as time went on, the confidence the girls had in their ability to control their steeds also grew and we were able to press on.

Then came the fun part! Our guide asked who wanted to go faster, and myself along with Rachel, Betty, and Rebecca jumped on the opportunity. Remember, these girls had NEVER been on a horse before, and there they were-ready to run! Or trot anyways. I even have some videos to prove their incredible feats of riding skill!

I love spending time with these girls. And am amazed at how they learn, grow, take on challenges and adventure. I love watching it unfold before my eyes. The smiles on their faces are even visible through my terrible videographery as we bounce along. I think many of them never even paused to relax their facial muscles-they just beamed.

It is amazing to think that God hand crafted those horses we rode. I have loved horses ever since I could remember! And God was the one that thought them up. How much more I should stand and marvel at the Creator, rather than the (albeit stunningly beautiful) creation?

"A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love" -Ps. 33:17, 18